Even the Same Fucking Brand!

Once again, I just want to quit this town and go start over in a new place where no one knows me. I actually had a chance but was in lack of balls to do it.
Guess I'm not as interesting as I used to be... I gotta study, learn new shit and become unbreakable. Mme. B. told me that I liked playing the underdog and that I only threw bones to my preys to get their attention whenever I feel like it. After this highly accurate analysis she adviced me to become a stray dog (not her exact words but don't we all love to have metaphors in our little desparate literary attempts? oh yes we do.. oh yes we do...) that no one can take their eyes off. In order to survive -especially in my future career- I had to mesmerize everyone, anyone and make sure my contacs were consolidated.
I listened to her pep talk with a bit of amazement(love it when people are lucky enough to make accurate analysis about me) and a lot more of boredom.
Funny thing is, about an hour later I was more than willing to become the stray dog she wanted/wished for me to become. Why? 'Cause once again that asshole made me want it. I don't think I have a father complex but this...entity... makes me crave for it's attention. So yeah... I won't see that thing until I gain some accomplishments. Which means I have to do something till 24 November... That's enough of a motivation, right?...

Yummy yummy yummy I got love in my tummy

Delicious in so many ways~~

LLV

Fazla muhteşem kendisi. Wendy adlı şarkısının transtlation'ını kaybetmek istemediğim için buraya paste edeceğim. Sözleri bir yerde bulunmalı çünkü~~

"Staring up at the sky with both hands spread, he flapped his wings,Like a strong and free falcon bathed in radiance.He flew like this, his spirit free.But now, it has changed, the flight has ended, and now you are chained to the Earth.~Ah,I have already seen it all.Since I know everything now,Now I wake in the morning without dreams,And the daytime is a nightmare. I know that my body will now be like lead,My wings will be mere decorations, and my heart tightens.Somehow, I am getting older, and once I am a grown up,With the company of fairies no longer, I will flounder on land.Oh WENDY, you are WENDY, always WENDY, my WENDY,Dream like this, always and always.Nee WENDY, I cannot fly with you anymore.It's saddening, its painful, and I cry, WENDY....Nee WENDY, you will certainly get older too.To see the dream forever is to die.Nee WENDY, someday, you'll become a grown up like me. On that day, where will your wings disappear to?~Gazing up at the sky with both hands spread, he continued to flap his arms in vain,but the sky cannot be reached.....,~Oh WENDY, you are WENDY, always WENDY, my WENDY,Dream like this, always and always.Oh WENDY, you are WENDY, always WENDY, my WENDY,Keep on dreaming, keep on remembering, always.WENDY,Forever WENDY. "

15.08.09

Aklıma geldi bugün, banyodaki radyodan duymuş olmamın da etkisiyle; Brian Molko acaba gerçekten Without You I'm Nothing'de anlattığı duyguları hissetti mi? Ya da i-pod'umun kulaklıklarında söylediğini duyduğum kadar twisted bir ilişkinin parçası olmuş mudur She Wants Revenge'in solisti? Yoksa sadece neyin iyi satacağını çok mu iyi tahmin ediyorlardı?
Şarkı sözlerini daha çok seviyorum şiirlerden, daha duygu dolu buluyorum sanırım. Şu esnada işkence aleti olarak Perry Blake'i seçmiş durumdayım. Bana hem şarkı sözlerini neden daha çok sevdiğimi hem de geçmiş aptallıklarımı hatırlatıyor. Bir daha aptallık yapmak istemiyorum ama, iki boyutlu dünyam bana elinden gelen her şeyi sunuyor. Tek başıma yemek kalıntıları ve çöplerle dolu bir evde ölü mü bulunacağım merak ettirtmesine rağmen nadir olarak mutlu olduğum yerlerden biri.
Önümdeki 4 sene bir şey değiştirecek mi acaba? Geride bıraktığım 5'i değiştirmedi, bundan da ümit duymuyorum artık.
Yarın abuk bir gün. Nefesimi tuttum, bekliyorum...

Magical~~

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/37507422.html

We love you too Dan, and we still hope you'd convert one day~~
Ahem ahem, but yeah, it's nice to see the idol of my generation turning out to be such a nice guy. You go mister!

Awww

Come on, admit it, they look cute.. Plus i liked the photo, and I mean it... Missed my lomo once again ;_; ...

My Life as a Soap-Opera

Seriously, as I was telling E. last night, my life can be a really good base for a soap-opera. I can't believe how one can go through such drastic changes just in two days. Only in soap-operas or Showtime series I guess...
Now that we know how two days can change/show/destroy/insert verb here a lot, our next experiment will be about the effects of 4 days and the next in line is about the effects of one week.
The most important life changing piece of information is yet to come but that's the season finale right?
Well whatever, I'm at ease right now and wish to remain so. So yes, what's next? I should go buy some books actually, and I need papers too. I'm in an artistic mood, thanks to Patrick, The Tarot Café and M. . Maybe I'll go and search for a new lomo too. Missing my old one as hell.
Anyways, I have something like 12 hours and then the new episode will begin. Should go and get prepared~~

-------------------------

Another remarkable absurd dialogue that should be mentioned;
Between me (C. for Charlotte) and M.(for none of your business), while talking about skin colors and stuff alike...

M.: But yeah I guess your skin is dark...
C.: Yeah well, and sometimes it looks kinda green too O_O !
M.: Oh mine does that too... under green light... ¬ _ ¬
C.: XD